Thirteen Jewish men went to a party Romans thought those boys were mighty naughty Our man said "Fellas, grab this bread like it's my body, and EAT ME UP I ain't foolin', this wine is my blood, why don't you DRINK ME UP as if I were your wholly holy stud, that way you SEAL ME UP inside you, so when you're in need, then you can FEEL ME UP I'll guide you, though I must concede, I'm straight." Chorus: JESUS WAS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW! Jesus was straight JESUS WAS ON THE STRAIGHT 'N NARROW! Yes he was STRAIGHT AS A BONE DOWN TO THE MARROW! Jesus was S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T! Down Gethsemane, Judas was tardy He showed up with a mob, lookin' all haughty Smoothed up to JC, sayin' "Baby I just thought we...thought we might" MMMMPOP! "Woah, Judas, not in front of this crowd!", but he kept on MMMMSMACK! "No, Judas, that smooch is not allowed, I know it MMMMWA! pleases Judas to have his post manned, but really, MMMMX! Jesus, Judas, you just don't understand--I'm straight!" (chorus) They wanted to nail my Lord, sub Pontio Pilato! DOMINUS DEUS! Pontius couldn't "stick up" for him, 'cause The Pilate liked to get blotto. LAUDAMUS TE! So that ebriosus with the mostess the Holy Ghost a sorry sight made, though we prayed, PATREM OMNIPOTENTEM! Still they laid him down with cross and crown outside town, naked and betrayed, for to be displayed, ADORAMUS TE! Yes, he was flayed without mercy on his hardy backside And he ran out of cheeks to turn as they scarred the man's hide And though his persecutors he'd not thus far defied, we cried JESUS! "Please come away with me!" JESUS! "Far beyond your little sea of Galilee, I need you!" JESUS! "You've got to run away from all this hate!" Jesus said: "No...no...I am straight." (chorus) "And I must die today so you can see the way that is S-T-R-A-"--no matter what scholars say-- they were most certainly not gay men.

Thirteen Jewish men went to a party Romans thought those boys were mighty naughty Our man said "Fellas, grab this bread like it's my body, and EAT ME UP I ain't foolin', this wine is my blood, why don't you DRINK ME UP as if I were your wholly holy stud, that way you SEAL ME UP inside you, so when you're in need, then you can FEEL ME UP I'll guide you, though I must concede, I'm straight." Chorus: JESUS WAS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW! Jesus was straight JESUS WAS ON THE STRAIGHT 'N NARROW! Yes he was STRAIGHT AS A BONE DOWN TO THE MARROW! Jesus was S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T! Down Gethsemane, Judas was tardy He showed up with a mob, lookin' all haughty Smoothed up to JC, sayin' "Baby I just thought we...thought we might" MMMMPOP! "Woah, Judas, not in front of this crowd!", but he kept on MMMMSMACK! "No, Judas, that smooch is not allowed, I know it MMMMWA! pleases Judas to have his post manned, but really, MMMMX! Jesus, Judas, you just don't understand--I'm straight!" (chorus) They wanted to nail my Lord, sub Pontio Pilato! DOMINUS DEUS! Pontius couldn't "stick up" for him, 'cause The Pilate liked to get blotto. LAUDAMUS TE! So that ebriosus with the mostess the Holy Ghost a sorry sight made, though we prayed, PATREM OMNIPOTENTEM! Still they laid him down with cross and crown outside town, naked and betrayed, for to be displayed, ADORAMUS TE! Yes, he was flayed without mercy on his hardy backside And he ran out of cheeks to turn as they scarred the man's hide And though his persecutors he'd not thus far defied, we cried JESUS! "Please come away with me!" JESUS! "Far beyond your little sea of Galilee, I need you!" JESUS! "You've got to run away from all this hate!" Jesus said: "No...no...I am straight." (chorus) "And I must die today so you can see the way that is S-T-R-A-"--no matter what scholars say-- they were most certainly not gay men.